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The simple fact is that - if we accept our responsibility as parents and do our job right, then it will eventually and definitely pay in the end.   Our efforts that we take at this stage of their lives will be rewarding in the future, both for them as well as for us. 

There are four steps that we can take that will make being a parent very rewarding : 

1.     We must face and overcome the distractions and troubles that confront our children. 

Many of our young children are engrossed in long hours on the computers, TV, video games.  All these have made our children slaves to these gadgets.  They have lost the value of family life and they don’t have any relationships with their parents or even with their siblings.   

Parents are busy doing their own stuff, the children are in their own rooms doing what they want.  This is  big reason for a barrier between parents and children.   All these distractions distract our children from normal lives which otherwise they would live.  Due to this they won’t open up and they don’t have that relationship with parents that they need to have.    In some cases, d isciplining a child is necessary because it is a form of teaching that sets proper boundaries that guide behaviour.   Good discipline also involves praising children for correct behaviour and lovingly applying consequences when the rules are broken. 

But another alternative to disciplining them is to give them a substitute.   To parent our children properly we must make time to be available to them.  This may seem difficult at first because - Yes, we have work obligations, personal interests, the relationship with our spouses, but the fact is that our child needs our time ! 

So what can we do -  

For eg : 

·    Play family games together, watch a children or a family show together.

·     Have a chat or discussion on different things that interest them 

·    Sit with them, spend time with them, ask their opinion on different        things.  T alking with them is the work of entering into their lives, it communicates that we care and are concerned. Talking with them involves knowing the world in which your children live. Never dismiss your children’s thoughts and feelings as unimportant but ask them more about those things.

·     Make them feel a valued member of a family 

Soon you will find that they will start sharing their problems, their views and opinions.  Once that rapport is established and we are able to get their attention,  we can go on to the next step. 

2.         Determine to do what is right for our children 

In order to do what is right for our children, we must first of all know ourselves what is right !  Remember that our children learn the difference between right and wrong from us.  So first of all we need to be in prayer.  Ask God for his guidance and learn how to raise children through His word. 

It is important to pray for our children – everyday.  When they sleep, lay hands on them and pray.   Take them along for every prayer and believers fellowship.  We understand that when they are small, they could be troublesome but it doesn’t matter.  It is very necessary for children to be in that anointing.  If we keep on doing this and persevere to sow the word in them from their childhood, God will protect them and raise them to be what they should be. 

3.         We must be dedicated to nurture and teach our children 

Nurture means to train, to educate, to further the development of the child. We all as parents do that.  We make sure they go to good schools even though they are taught things that are contrary to God’s word.  We do not give them a choice as to which school they can go.   But when it comes to going to church, they have all the freedom to decide if they want to go or not.  Thats why there are so many few children in churches today.   Because the parents have not trained them in the things of God.  Then there are some parents who think that by bringing their children to the church, their responsibility is over and its the job of the church to bring up their children in the way of God.   They cannot be more mistaken.  It is their responsibility to bring up their children, not that of the church.  The church is there to help and assist wherever possible but the onus is on the parents.    A child might learn some very useful things in Sunday School but what matters is whether the rest of the days of the week, while at home, are we as parents still teaching and nurturing him or her according to the word of God.. 

I can give my own experience in this case. My parents put me in the one of the best schools in the city, gave me whatever I wanted, but they did not teach me to live a Godly life. Thats the reason my early life was a complete mess. Church did not have any meaning to me, The Bible was a book I was not even remotely familiar with.   It was only years later after a lot of suffering (even tried to end my life !) that I realised where I was going wrong. But sadly my parents had no role to play in my transformation, it was just the sheer grace and mercy of God ! Even today I tremble when I think of what would have happened to me, if I had to die in my 20s without having had a relationship with God.  Therefore it is so important to teach our children to walk with God at the earliest, because death is no respecter of age and therefore not everyone will be fortunate to get enough time to improve. Thats the reason we must be quick to realise how important it is to raise our children so they will walk with God.  

We need to teach our children to read the Bible everyday.  Lets look at a few scriptures that mention this : 

Deuteronomy 6:7- Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--  "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."  Fathers, do not exasperate (frustrate, madden) your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 

Deuteronomy 11:19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

Its a good thing to implement the simple practice of praying everyday in the morning and night, thanking God for everything,  Singing new songs for God,  Teaching them principles of love and forgiveness, the difference between meekness and weakness.  This way, if we sow in them, eventually they will be nourished and grow up to be good men and women of God. 

4.        We need to be such a Godly influence that they will make right decisions when the time comes. 

Our children are watching us day and night and learning from us.  Our lifestyle is going to bring change in them.    Teaching is done through ACTION more than WORDS. You will teach your children by what you do, as much as by what you don’t do.  They will remember your example long after they forget your words. 

QUOTE :If there is anything that we wish to change in a child,we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves – Carl Jung 

QUOTE : The hardest job that kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.  Fred Astaire 

If we fight, quarrel, argue, swear in front of them, they are going to do the same. They learn from us. On the other hand, If we love each other, forgive and say please and thank you, they will see and follow the same. When parents smoke, drink and spend their evenings in the pub, their children will consider it to be a suitable way of life and do the same.  

But if we spend time with them,  if we sleep early, get up early, when they watch us spending time in prayer on our knees and reading the bible, being in church every Sunday on time, doing activities in church, they are going to watch, learn and follow our footsteps.  We should never underestimate the power of leading by example.   Somewhere in their heart, they will know that if their parents do it,  then it must be right. 

It is a fact that most of young children coming from broken families, where there is abuse, end up having broken families themselves, or they end up having psychological problems.  Research has shown that when children are abused by their parents – verbally, sexually then they start to feel guilty about it and start blaming their own self.  They feel that everything happening is their own fault.  When they grow up they end up doing the same things that they earlier hated,  to their own children and this cycle continues.  

But children born from happy families and godly parents always and always will have a firm foundation and good future.    There is that famous saying – A family that prays together , stays together.   

This is not to say that the devil will give up on them and leave them alone now, NO   -  he is going to attack them with more force.  The passage from the book of Exodus that we saw earlier explains how the devil can get desperate in frustration.  There is a possibility that they might drift apart for sometime, but they will come back like the prodigal son due to their Godly parents who are there praying for them.  In the story of the prodigal son, we see how happy and glad the father was when the son who had drifted away came back.   His son coming back was the biggest reward the Father received. 

In closing we need to see where our children are heading.  What are our plans for our children.  Do we want them to be part of the plan of the devil or part of God’s plan.  Only one option is possible.  Remember if we fail to plan we will be planning to fail.   

None of us want our children to fail, we want the very best for them.  What better satisfaction for a parent than to see their sons or daughters following and serving God, as a direct result of their parental influence.   

Why don’t we give them the best spiritually nutritious diet that is available.    Give them Jesus Christ……………He is the bread of life. 

Let us prepare to receive the satisfaction, peace, joy, happiness and contentment of knowing that our children have decided to follow and serve God.  When that happens, we can pat ourselves on our back and say – Yes, this is our reward for being a parent.  We have finally earned  our wages.   

But the best is still to come  -  God promises in His word (Exodus 20:6) that He will show mercy to thousands of our generations when we love him and obey him. 

Prayer :  Heavenly Father, thank  you the gift of our children and grandchildren.   Thank you for your word that guides us and leads us in this important area of parenting.   Thank you for teaching us on how to overcome distractions that confront our children, how to determine what is right for them.  Help us to be dedicated to teach and nurture them as them grow so we can be a Godly influence in their grown up lives.  We give you all the glory and praise.  In Jesus’ wonderful and precious name.  Amen  .

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